Island Living

8 months back and still missing St. Lucia everyday

2012-03-03T02:02:00.005-04:00

I've been back in the US for just over 8 months, and every day I think about St. Lucia and miss life there. I never imagined when I applied to Peace Corps about 4 years ago now, that it would be so hard to come back to the US. Never would I have guessed that I would miss the music so much, the language, the food, this sense of belonging even though I stuck out like a sore thumb. They tell you readjustment back to life in the US will be hard, its that land I am from and for over 20 some years of my life was home and the only culture I really knew, so I thought how hard will it be. They didn't tell me it will take over 8 months to feel comfortable back in your "home" culture. They didn't tell me that I may never really fit back in, cause I will always be a little Lucian. Or that my family, friends, and people I meet will expect me to shed that other side of me because its not really normal in this country(USA), but I will fight as hard as I can to keep that "foreign" part of me. I worry that if I loose it, it may take away from that experience that drastically changed my entire being permanently in a way I am so incredibly proud of. How could I try to shed any of that? But mostly nobody prepares you for how much you will miss the people.

I miss my second family, my second home, and the place where no matter what I some how could find peace. The whole family took care of me as one of their own, and in their own way kept me pulled together. Even though I haven't gone more than 3 months at a time without seeing my two best friends due to them visiting the US and me visiting St. Lucia, I miss them like crazy. Its strange how much friends that are like sisters become such a crucial part to keeping you sane, they know how to keep you calm, they get your crazy comments, and understand exactly what you mean even when you make no sense at all. Most of all they enabled me to be a better version of myself. I mean who else will tell me three times to eat after get to distracted and forget to eat. Or tell me that outfit is completely unacceptable and give me replacement clothes that shouldn't fit but some how always magically do, then do my makeup so they barely have time to get ready. Or stay up to 2 am making some concoction cause we never had all the ingredients for our recipes, and then stay up till 5am talking about what really matters in life. Or teach me to dance, grease hair, and how to make the best shrimp meal ever. Only sisters can do that, we may not look as similar to other people as we think we do to each other, but you know me like family and to me your family always will be. Now if only we could live in the same country!!!

I also miss my kids, I wonder everyday how they are doing. I hope that they don't fall back to negative ways, that they keep striving for the future and being everything that I know they are capable of being. Mostly I hope I taught them to believe in themselves enough that even if nobody else believes in them, they will know they can do better. I worry about them like they are my own children, but I can't read them a story after school anymore, I can't tell them that they can do anything, and if they believe that there is no limit to what they can do. Instead I just have to hope that I really did make a difference in my little corner of the world.

I also miss all those people that I saw all the time and became a part of my life. My host family that welcomed me into their home and took care of me from the first day I arrived to the day I left. Knowing they were just across the way made know I was always safe, didn't need to worry, and I had a place to just cool out. My neighbors, some of whom all I ever really said anything to but good afternoon and you safe gave me this sense of belonging and I miss those good afternoons. I miss all the teachers especially those that may never know how much they helped me keep fighting when I wasn't so sure it was worth it. The teachers at both of the schools I worked at, were some of the first people to make me begin to feel at home in St. Lucia, and they continued to give me something to believe in for my over 2 years shared with them. The fellas hanging out on the block usually just made me smile, which sometimes was something I needed.

Sometimes when I'm feeling really nostalgic, I even miss the bucket baths, not enough that I want to take one though. I just hope that I can always keep the Lucian part of me, and no matter how long I'm back know in my heart I'm Ameri-Lucian.

The impact of peace corps!

2011-08-30T14:16:00.002-04:00

As volunteers we all have slightly different reasons for joining the peace corps; a love of travel, a desire to travel for the first time, the need for a change of scenery, an uncertainty of what to do next, but one thing we all have in us is a desire to leave the world a better place than it was before us. This is the real reason we join to change the world, to wake up and say I made those kids lives better, I gave them hope, and an opportunity they didn't know was there.

For the two and a half years of service this is the reason we woke up, got dressed and fought like hell to see our projects succeed, to see our communities grow, and to see a child find hope in themselves. Along the way we became part of the culture we lived in. We starteed to act differently, picked up mannerisms, words, actions, and a way about us that said I am from here. We gained friends and in some cases a kind of family in our new culture as we began to shed our own. Our perspectives changed, we learned what it meant to not have, maybe even what it felt like to really be hungry. We learned the struggle of poverty, how hard it is to break the cycle and raise above it when you are fighting just to survive. We learned a kind of patience that almost makes us freaks of nature in this I want it now way of life. Of course while we were living this life, we weren't fully aware of what was happening, we were just living life trying to make it from one day to the next.

Then we came home, and it hit us how much we were this other culture, this other way of life, and how much we changed. Yea we maybe came back tanner and weighing a little less, speaking a strange broken english adding foreign words in randomly, and not really being able to articulate very well. But our core being changed too, the way we view the world and ourselves, want we want from life, the way we live, the way we dance and eat. We will forever be marked with this peace corps thing. In some ways its a curse, you know that whole ignorance is bliss. It is definitely easier to fit in, when you feel like you fit in. I doubt very many of us would change it for a second though because for most of us this change in ourselves, this ability to serve the world community was both the most difficult experience of our lives, but also the most rewarding and amazing two plus years of our lives. We have each other that get that, and few others that fully understand all that was our experience. We miss a land that was our home but never a birthplace in much of the same way an immigrant misses their birth place, longing to return but never knowing when that may happen. Back in the US we search for people like us feeling out of place with people that a mere 3 years ago we would have fit in with. When we go to a new US city we question whether the water from the pipe is drinkable, and wonder if there is hot water.

Hopefully though no matter how much we miss life in our other country, the people, the purpose, the way of life, the being a part of a community, not just a face in the crowd, we know that we were that difference in someones life and we accomplished soo much more than we ever thought we would. Maybe not in the ways we thought but maybe in a much more human sense instead of a project sense. I know for me, not a day goes by that I don't remember the children by the sea, and I hope that they grow up to be the amazing men and woman I know they can be.

Missing St. Lucia

2011-07-23T23:56:00.003-04:00

As I'm back in the U.S. trying to adjust to life here, I'm constantly thinking about everyone back in Saint Lucia.

Just wanted to share some videos I've created about my life down there and what I'm missing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vebZtJjP8E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1TL8uK4ZFo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9upwDTwMVC0&feature=related

26 Months Later :(

2011-04-19T22:21:00.003-04:00

It's hard to believe I have been in St. Lucia for 26 months now, and for most of the group I came in today marked the end of an amazing journey and the beginning of whatever is next. After a trip to the the airport and saying goodbye none of it really hit me. I'm still here they aren't, but what does that mean. Well it definitely doesn't mean the end of friendships. They are some of the only few Americans that when I say sorti la, eh eh gason, or speak Lucian English to I won't get a blank stare from. They have seen and felt my struggle here, heard unbelievable stories and sometimes told more ridiculous stories, experienced things beside me, and become American Lucians alongside of me, and for that they will always be in my heart. It does however mean the end of phone calls to kill time cause I was given stones to hold or I am waiting way to long in US terms for something to start. It means that when I just need a break from life, I will have less places to go, I have fewer people to make free phone calls to, I will feel a little more awkward at peace corps functions, and a part of my support network isn't here with me anymore. The good news is I get all sorts of tips on returning to life in the US, and closing out my life here...when crying on an airplane face the window so your seat mates doesn't notice, what kind of ID you need at the bank, and many more I'm sure are yet to come.

I have been incredibly lucky to have been blessed with such a great group to share this journey with, and I wish you all the best in whatever is the next journey. I'll keep St. Lucia warm(???) for the next month in case you decide this is where you belong.

Imagine all the people living life in peace, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one....

Thanks guys for making the past two years so remarkable!

Three Months to Go :(

2011-03-10T00:25:00.004-04:00

I've had my close of service conference, decided to stay a little longer, but the silly 3 month marker has now passed and I am left wondering what next. I have just lived the most amazing two years of my life in a country where I am a celebrity, not really but sort of really. I have been in the newspaper and on the news as a pole vault coach, and in the paper for being a trend setter, and weeks after being on tv children still shout to me "Miss, I saw you on TV". I'm working on finishing up building a library, getting one of my pole vaulters to qualify for the junior pan american games, and trying to train PE teachers all over the island how to be pole vault coaches. I've gotten a 9 year old boy to change his plans for his future from going to prison to going to one of the best secondary schools on the island, and he grades went up almost 30 percentage points. I've lived through the worst drought in Saint Lucia's recorded history, and the worst Natural Disaster too.

As I am coming way too close to the end, I can say without hesitation my peace corps service was a huge success. I'm not going to say it was easy or there weren't times that I thought about throwing in the towel, but I wouldn't change my choice to be here and stay here for anything. Some people say being a peace corps volunteer is the hardest job you will ever love, and while I couldn't agree more with that statement, I think the hardest part of my service will be saying goodbye.

When I first came here I thought I would just keep my head down get engulfed with work and not really be social, but boy was I wrong. Not only did I make friends but I gained a new family. While it will be incredibly sad, and I'm sure that I will cry like a baby at random places for the most ridiculous reasons over the next oh 6 months or so, I'm sure that those people will always remain in my heart. I will think of them every time, I see onion rings, a pole vault anything, a child learning to read, someone saying miss, a rooster crowing, the mention of water not working, Carnival, anytime I go shopping or have to pick out an outfit, anytime I forget to eat, or whenever some smacks me to kill a mosquito. As sad as I am to be going and leaving my family behind, it is of extreme comfort that I know they will always have my back, and I just hope they know I have theirs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1TL8uK4ZFo

Hurricane Tomas

2010-11-11T22:00:00.004-04:00

On October 30th St. Lucia got hit by Hurricane Tomas, while the winds caused some damage the real devastation came from landslides caused by 10-20 inches of rainfall over a 24 hour period. It was my first disaster and my first hurricane, and possibly the most humbling experience of my life. While I have not had access to water besides what I have stored for 13 days now, and I had to get up at 6am to go to the capital to buy water before the store ran out, which they did when I was standing in line, I feel lucky and blessed. Besides rain seeping in through my windows, nothing happened to me, my people are all safe, and I have enough to survive.

As I continue to see more damage, I realize just how lucky I am. The main highway where it goes through the rain forest lost a lane, and in an area that used to be trees and brush, nothing but green, is now just brown. The trees toppled down in a landslide leaving the road impassable for days, and even now its only a single lane road and will be for some time. Houses collapsed with people in them, others were filled with mud from landslides, rivers flowed through people's houses, depositing trash and debris in yards, and lives were lost.

This devastation has been said to be the worst national disaster in St. Lucia's history, and while the death toll is relatively low, for how small the communities and nation is the numbers feel much larger. It is by no means the worst disaster the world has faced this year, but for me its the first disaster that is tangible to me, every other disaster always feels so far away, but this one effects every aspect of my life, and I can't help but wonder what will happen to my community since most people are in the banana business and everyone lost all of their crop. Will the nation be facing a food shortage are their staples of banana and plantain got chopped down by the hurricane. With damn/water collection sites damaged or destroyed what will happen when we hit the peak of dry season, will pipes continue to run dry? I guess all I can do is hope for the best, and hope to continue to be surprised by St. Lucia's ability to handle this disaster.

The pictures are of my community and on my way to town, there hardest hit areas I haven't been to

Carnival!! It's not a day, it's a season

2010-07-27T12:28:00.006-04:00

Before I explain anything about the Carnival festivities, it is important to understand all the terminology, otherwise nothing will make sense. First of all the different groups in a Carnival parade are called bands, within a band there are sections, each section has different costumes. Being in a section in a band and participating in the festivities is called jumping, so I jumped in Red Unlimited (the band), in the best section in the band, yes we actually won that award, Tempted to Touch.

Almost every village has their own Carnival, with a lot of t-shirt bands instead of super fancy costumes like the main Carnival festivities that I jumped in. If you wanted to/you were completely insane you could jump carnival for about 2 months straight, traveling around the island.

That would mean staying up all night to do Jouvert which is basically a street party that starts at 4am and goes till 7am, then going home bathing changing, and jumping day one of carnival, from 10/12-6pm, then you rest up, the crazy people party more, and jump again the next day. Needless to say I only jumped the one carnival this year.

Now for the main event with all the fancy costumes dancing along the highway in the capital there is a little more to it. I would say the Carnival Weekend starts Friday, with Sexy in Black concert in which everyone wears black and parties/hears local Soca artisits (the type of music played at Carnival) perform. For some of us, meaning me, I then got up Saturday morning went to a meeting, then went to coach my vaulters, which means I rested Saturday night, but a true reveler, the people that jump carnival, would have gone to the Calypso Monarch Finals Saturday night. Calypso is a type of music similar to reggae, but it has a message behind it, usually about the state of the nation, and fixing problems, the Monarch part literally means the years best or King of that type of music. Sunday is the inter-Caribbean Soca Monarch Finals concert, in which the top Soca artists in the region compete to see who wins in St. Lucia, it almost always a Lucian cause so much is based on how the crowd gets into the song. After that its to the pre-jouvert party put on by our band, then jouvert, then breakfast, we found a place wit $5 waffles and pancakes, which is unheard of here. Breakfast may have been my favorite party of the whole thing, I was with my 4 best friends on the island, we were all slap happy from being up for 24 hours, and half the people working in the restaurant were about to go jump carnival in a few hours.

After Breakfast it was time to get ready for the main event, no I didn't leave out going to sleep, we didn't. Instead we changed into our fancy carnival costumes, and went down to the highway to join our band for whining , dancing, on the streets for the next 6 hours by the time we actually caught up with our band a little late. The best part of day one is going past the judges, everyone is so amped and the best songs play, and the whole section just goes crazy when they pass the judges. At points it is almost as if the whole thing was choreographed because there is a specific dance to the song that played as we passed the judges and everyone did it together brilliantly. Right after the judges it started pouring rain, which was so nice cause it cools you off and everyone is dancing, singing, and being silly in the rain without a care about getting wet, which is not normal at all down here.

Then its time to rest up, so you are ready for day two. Day two everyone looks tired at the start, but after a few energy drinks, monster sponsored our band, every is starting to get going, and since we aren't being judged today and we don't have to conserve energy, and there is a less caring. For example when we walk through a round about/traffic circle the whole band runs around it in one direction, stops then runs around in the opposite direction, just silly fun really. By the end of the day tuesday, most peoples costumes have fallen apart between being rained on and dancing in the streets for over 12 hours, the costumes just weren't made to last.

Then you go home and sleep. It was an amazing experience for me and I'm so glad I did it, I'm not sure it would be as much fun for people who just come down for carnival because the best part is being care free with a bunch of friends, music you know, in an environment that is completely comfortable to you, and I only had that because I live here and nothing seemed strange or out of sorts to me. I could see how the entire 5 day weekend however could be rather overwhelming for people who don't know what they are getting themselves into. My friends and I agree though that we will have to do the DC Caribbean Carnival, especially if we are all studying in the US.

The photos are of me and friends I jumped with in our costumes, our section, our truck, every band has a truck that plays their music, the massive costume is our band's queen, pictures of breakfast/post jouvert and pre-jumping, and the ladies in red are the beginning of our band/the vip section.

Hope!

2010-07-23T23:52:00.002-04:00

When I signed up for the peace corps, I'm not really sure what I expected. I know I decided being a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) was the perfect fit for my life, I'm addicted to travel and I want to save the world, but I don't think I really had any clue what to expect. I remember thinking about what it would like to not have electricity, but I have that. My fridge my be the size of a dorm fridge, and I only have 4 outlets in a two bedroom place, which would be crazy in the states. What, every room back home has four outlets with two plug spots in each one, so really eight, but at least I have electricity. Running water, well I think maybe I was hoping I wouldn't have that, I was soo excited about not bathing for a month, but that didn't happen. Sadly I shower more here than in the states, big disappointment, but boy is it necessary. Also I found that not having water just makes life miserable, but on the bright side I can bath in 0.5 liters of water if necessary.

I will say nothing is what I expected, which I guess is really what the peace corps is about, ask any volunteer, every day is a new adventure of patience, will power, laughter, tears, and some craziness. By every day I mean every hour for the most part. The biggest and I think most unexpected thing for me has been what I have come to view my role as a PCV as being. Its not really to be a teacher, coach, facilitator, organizer or any of the things I came in expecting. My most important job here by far is to bring hope.

In that way PCVs are sort of like missionaries, but we don't bring hope through the belief in some external power or a god, but we do try to convert people to try and believe in a better tomorrow through hard work and perseverance. Sometimes and probably the hardest conversion to make is getting people to believe in themselves.

I will never forget the time I told a group of children, they can do anything they want to as long as the work really hard at it, and one little boy maybe 7 or 8, looked up at me and said even me miss? It shocked me he was so young and had already given up hope. Its not just the kids that feel this way, the grown ups frequently don't believe in themselves either, they don't feel capable of taking on small tasks that they could easily accomplish because they think they can't. So frequently I hear the words I can't, and almost never do I hear I can. You could call it capacity building if you wish, but especially with youth I call it hope building.

Thankfully for me I am already seeing those changes. I've seen an 11 year old girl go from saying I can't do this miss every time I gave her math work, to sitting down doing it without a word, and being the first one done. I've seen little boys go from telling me they can't read to asking to borrow a book, and asking for harder work. Changing the I can'ts to the I cans is the biggest victory I can imagine in my peace corps service.

Some people criticize the Peace Corps for just going out in the world and promoting American values, which it does, thats actually part of our job to teach people about the USA, and its something I myself I have questioned. Does the United States really have the answers, should we really be guiding other nations and other people that come from such different backgrounds and cultures. I for sure believe that in a lot of instance Americans are the ones that have it wrong, a nation where people choose work over people, just doesn't seem to have their priorities right. One thing America can spread to the world and has been so good at is the concept of Hope.

It is the very basis of our foundation as a nation, a hope for a fairer future, granted at the time the fair and equal future was still for a select few, but that concept has stood strong. Some may disagree with me, but the more I travel, the more I learn about the world, the more I believe the US is really the place where opportunity is most available to everyone, and maybe thats what breeds hope. Or maybe its the general nature of our culture, a culture in which as a 5 year old I wanted to grow up to be the first woman to play professional baseball, all the while being a pilot and a rancher too. Nobody told me I was stupid or that it was impossible, instead I was told anything is possible, and I can do anything I want to do. Maybe that was just my America, maybe other people's America are filled with hopelessness and despair, but I like to believe that is what America has to offer to the world, hope for a brighter future, and as a Peace Corps volunteer I hope that is the message that I get to spread, converting people to believe in themselves, and in their own nations.

Up next my Carnival Experience....

Its about time I share more pictures

2010-05-21T14:07:00.002-04:00

Pictures from my Walk around the island including the short cut to my best friends house.

Also pictured are the gingerbread houses we made from scratch for Christmas!

A typical Saturday...I have a fan Now!!!

2010-05-21T14:04:00.000-04:00

My alarm blared, I groggily opened my eyes, rolled to the other side of bed, my t-shirt clinging to me from sweat. I swore to myself I was buying a fan on Monday, this was ridiculous. I have to keep saying to myself yes, when I joined the Peace Corps I signed up for hardship, but why make it harder than it had to be.

As I bobbed under my mosquito net, all I could think of was highly caffeinated coffee from my Italian French Press. Why does eight am always feel so early down here? Glorious Coffee! With my eyes barely opened, I stumbled to the bathroom. I jiggled the lever to flush the toilet. Nothing! I turned the faucet on the sink, nothing again.

This was getting old. Everyone says the draught is over, but if it’s over why is it I don’t have water this morning? I grabbed a bucket full of water, and dumped it down the toilet, first problem solved, now to wash my hands. I walked to the kitchen, opened the cupboard under the sink and lugged out a jug, crisis averted.

My percolator was starting to bubble, coffee is ready! Of course my favorite mug was dirty, and I had no water. I only used the mug for coffee the morning before, what could it hurt to use it again without washing it? As I sat in my chair checking my email, and waiting for the caffeine to kick in, I tried to process what I needed to do for the day.

It was Saturday, and since I joined the Peace Corps, I had this desire save the world one child at a time, or maybe I had it before the Peace Corps. Either way it meant I gave up my sacred Saturdays to work with kids. No sleeping in! No staying in bed till noon reading or hoping that horrible hangover would go away. I had little kids waiting for me to teach them how to play basketball, at nine in the morning. In the afternoon a bunch of teenagers owned me, I was supposed to teach them how to pole vault , but sometimes I just wanted to go to the beach.

It was 8:20, I was supposed to leave in twenty-five minutes, and I still had to eat, bath, and create a practice plan for basketball. Please caffeine start working now!

So maybe I’m a little late, I walked out the door at 8:55. I walked past a father of a kid I work with, and said good afternoon, clearly 9 nine am is the afternoon to me. I hope he didn’t think I was drunk, and about to go be in charge of his child.

The little boy who walks to the basketball court with me was waiting patiently; he told me he was worried I left without him. As we strolled to the main road, I was hoping we would get a ride; otherwise we were going to be really late. Why is it that small children walk so slowly? Thank god after only two minutes of walking a truck pulled over to take us down to the court. We arrived with seconds to spare.

The second I walked in my door after basketball, I peeled off my sweat soaked shirt and laid down on my yoga mat, exhausted. It was only 11am, why was I so tired? I had an hour and a half to make food, eat, put together packets for my pole vaulters, and create my pole vault practice plan. I didn’t want to move.

I half rolled to my fridge looking for water, none. I pulled myself to my feet and stumbled to the sink, turned the facet, no water there. I knew I couldn’t make it through an afternoon in the sun without water. I guess this meant I had to walk down to the shop to buy some, and maybe a box of macaroni and cheese for lunch.

After inhaling the entire box of macaroni and cheese, then checking the box to see just how many calories I had consumed, I figured it was a perfect time to lie on my yoga mat and read. It’s not as if I had time to relax, I just wasn’t ready to move. By the time I was ready to move, it was time for me to leave, but I still had things to do.

I walked down to the highway to catch a bus, 20 minutes later than I should have. While I walked, I tried to figure out how long I could wait for a bus before I had to try to hitch a ride, fifteen minutes. Maybe I should just try to hitch right away. As I got the road there were a group of guys at the bus stop that have told me in the past not to hitch, so I figured I should at least wait a little while for a bus.

A bus finally came, and after the 45 minute journey I was at the stadium. Only 4 athletes were there at two pm, when training was supposed to start. I definitely started panicking. It was my first day as the head coach of Pole Vault St. Lucia, and the first training session since the Peace Corp Volunteer that started the program had left. Where are the athletes? Did they quit just because Andy left? Are all the nay sayers right about this program falling apart? Great this was all my fault. Calm down, relax, and remember to breathe. It’s going to be okay, a lot of the athletes are always late, just give them time.

My fear was for nothing, by the time 3pm rolled around I had 11 athletes at training.

At the end of training, when we are leaving, one of the athletes points over to the thousands of dollars worth of pole vaulting poles, that are just sitting out on the track. In the midst of babysitting the eleven 12-18 year olds I completely forgot about the poles. This just leaves me feeling incompetent and like a failure. Practice was a complete mess, and on top of that I can’t even remember to put ridiculously expensive equipment away.

It seems that feeling like a failure is part of being a Peace Corps Volunteer. Then again maybe feeling like a failure is part of any development work. Trying to create something out of nothing, with no support stuff inevitably leads to things not running smoothly, to things falling apart and being a complete mess, but I guess at least we are all out there trying to be that difference.

You can always go home, but home many times can you leave a wonderful life behind.

2010-04-26T22:03:00.000-04:00

As I flew over Washington DC for the first time in over a year, I wondered what it would be like to be home. I looked out the plane window and thought how many lights were lit up, how big this city is, how its good to be home. I got off the plane and saw my parents for the first time in 14 months, but it seemed as if I was just gone for a few weeks.

As I opened my drawers at home hoping to find something to sleep in, I was shocked by how much I had left at home, a closet and a dresser full of clothes I completely forgot existed. Jewelry, make up, shoes, tons of stuff I didn't really need, probably rarely would use, and none of which would fit in my closet back home in St. Lucia. The differences kept popping up, running water, not sweating all the time, driving, fresh fruit at my disposal, realizing that maybe I wasn't eating properly back home. I think craving V8 may have been the hint at that. As much as things seemed odd and out of place, or maybe I seemed out of place, but just to myself. What was wrong, what was different? What didn't feel right, was how after being gone for over a year I just slipped back into my old life. A life I no longer led, and life that wasn't real, but here I was for 10 days pretending that it was the life that I had been living without interruption.

At first it just felt so strange, then it almost felt like I hadn't really left, you know besides the fact that I wanted to call my friends back in St. Lucia every 5 minutes. I began to remember everything that I had left behind, what I great life I used to have. I could go shopping with my mom, my brother, or a friend. I could spend a day hanging out with my best friends, who get me, who I could be completely myself around, no worrying about what was culturally acceptable, that I may overstep my bounds, or that what I just said would make sense. I was relaxed. That and I really missed running water, every time I went to wash my hands it was like this great gift. Then I had to pick up and leave, say goodbye to all of that wondering if I'd really ever be back in that life the way it used to be.

Thankfully I came back to running water, but St. Lucia just didn't feel right, it felt like something was missing, and I couldn't help wondering if it was worth giving up all of what I had in the states. Then I hung out with my best friends down here, and I just felt screwed. It sucked cause I knew I couldn't have both lives at the same time. It took some time and a package filled with cookies and chips to make me realize that I wasn't screwed, but possibly the luckiest person out there. Most people spend their lives hoping to have people that love and get them, that will be there for them no matter the distance or the time apart, and I have two sets of people in two different parts of the world.

Now if only I could have the same comfy bed down here...

Sh*t in your own backyard!

2010-03-23T23:12:00.002-04:00

While we finally got rain yesterday, to everyones extreme happiness, the water situation had gotten bad for the past couple of weeks or so. This morning as I talked to the principal of the primary school she thanked god that not only we got rain, but it came gradually throughout the day as to not create landslides. She exclaimed to me that it was so dry that a child ran in and told her there was a crack so big in the dirt that he could put his arm in it.

Obviously cracking of dirt was the least of our concerns as we struggled to find water. People literally stayed up all night or took shifts with their family members hoping the water would come on in the middle of the night. One man I'm told sat by the stand pipe all night one night waiting to get water. My pipes stayed completely dry for the almost two months. In the past weeks I too was staying up late, making trips to the stand pipe between 11pm and 1 am hoping to get at least enough water to bath a little bit, and maybe if I was lucky flush the toilet.

The toilet issue is where things get interesting, or at least the stories do. I apologize if this grosses anyone out, but be glad that it didn't happen to you, and take a little extra care the next time you flush cause it really is a magically thing. I continued to use the toilet, flush with a bucket whenever I was lucky enough to have the water to, which was never more than once a day and pour bleach in to try to keep things more sanitary. Friends however took some more interesting measures, including pooing in a plastic bag and a coke bottle so it wouldn't stay in their houses and stink up the place. If your like me and wondering on the logistics of the whole thing, I don't know so don't ask. I was also told a story of a grown woman, and by grown I mean at least 40, that went into her neighbors yard and popped a squat right there. I'm not really sure why she choose to go next door, maybe to even a score, maybe just to keep her yard clean, but these things happen.

I will say that for the moment all these problems have ceased as we had a full day of rain and everyone has water for the now. It definitely made yesterday a phenomenal day. I didn't get home till after 10 because by friends cat had kittens the day before and after training I went by to see the day old kittens, their eyes were still closed and the had to search blinded for the mother's teat which ended in some comical situations of sucking on paws and ears. After I got home I checked for water only because a friend said that they had because I was starting to think I would never have again. A miracle had happed and some beautiful brown water flowed from my pipes, so I started washing everything and filling every jug and bucket I own. I kept going till 1:30 am and since I washed all my pillowcases one time went to bed with t-shirt covered pillows. Even though my water is brown having it in my life again is more magical than seeing day old kittens for the first time in my life. Plus this mean now I won't have to worry about anyone shitting in my backyard, at least until we all loose water again.

Who knew there was so much to say about water...

2010-02-22T12:37:00.004-04:00

If you came to St. Lucia for a vacation you wouldn't really notice that there is a drought going on, towels are still washed daily, you can take as many hot showers as you want, and the pool is filled with water. They do give you a piece of paper that informs you of the drought and asks you politely to only use one towel a day and to be aware or water consumption.

As for the rest of the island its a different story, we haven't had more than a two minute sprinkle in at least 3 weeks, the banana trees are starting to yellow, the tops of the coconuts trees are falling off, its due to a disease thats worse without water, a places that are notoriously muddy have been dry for weeks. Depending on where you live it also means you do not have water in your pipes. In my community we haven't had water in our homes for over two weeks and since christmas we haven't had water for more than 24 hours at a time. Thankfully there is a stand pipe up the road that we can get water at. A stand pipe is a pipe that is about 2-3 feet tall and is on the side of the road. Basically imagine if at the end of your street there was a skinny pipe with a facet that everyone in the general area goes to get water. At certain times of day people bring their soap and just bath on the side of the street, usually its just men and children, I have never seen a grown woman bath at the stand pipe. On a Saturday if you go to collect water at the standpipe you will see a collection of women doing their laundry. The lucky people that have 1,000 liter water tanks get those filled by a water truck, so they don't have to go to the stand pipe to collect water,most of my friends have these, but I am not so lucky. Every morning or evening I gather my jugs and buckets and carry my water from the stand pipe. I definitely think my arms are getting stronger, water is heavy.

The really cool part is that I now realize just how much water I need to live. It takes about 3 gallons to flush the toilet, I can bath in 1.5 liters if I don't wash my hair, if I wash my hair its more like 4 liters or about a gallon. To do laundry by hand, its about 10 gallons for a little bit of clothes, I would never do it in the machine cause it would take way too much water like maybe 50 gallons. Each gallon of water weighs 8 lbs, so that water quickly adds up to a lot of weight. Maybe I should make all my female pole vaulters carry water so they can get stronger.

Pole Vault St. Lucia continues to grow as a program, this Independence weekend we set another national women's record, and our ladies finally broke that 2 meter mark that they had been threatening to break for a while now. We also had one of our newest male vaulters surprise us by jumping 2.7 meters after only being with the program for about a month and a half, which is huge cause thats about 6 training sessions. As a program we have gained a few athletes which is always good to see, but can make training a little more hectic, it'll be interesting to see what happens when we loose our head coach in april when his service as a Peace Corps volunteer ends. If our local coaches show up to training I shouldn't feel too overwhelmed by trying to give enough attention to our 10-20 athletes depending on the week, but when its just me it gets harder to see all those little things at one time.

The rest of life and work continues to chug along with some more successful days then others, my two little boys continue to get smart and smarter, but sometime revert to old negative attitudes, and the sports program continues to progress ever slowly forward.

I did get to take a vacation, which due to friends in different places landed me in London. It was nice to have the things a big city offers again; museums, shopping, restaurants, pretty buildings, subway systems, and the list goes on, but I will say everyone was in too much of a hurry and seemed rather rude to me. It definitely made me think about what kind of life I really want to live and the odd priorities and sense of living people in the western world have. But boy are bagels, sushi, real coffee, strawberries, raspberries, fancy cheese, and museums nice to have.

I guess I have the next year and two months to figure which life I prefer, as for now I have wash to do, water to carry and maybe so homemade pizza to make.

2009 In Review

2010-01-03T13:26:00.002-04:00

It seems as the new year come people always try to come up with way to make the next year better then the previous one. People want to be thinner, happier, richer, more in love, less alone, savor more, work less, work harder, get promoted, finally quit that thing they hate, and the list could go on and on, I on the other hand took this new years to reflect on the past year and how amazing it was. I think if more people took time to look back on the good instead of changing the bad then maybe more people would realize just how lucky they are (I do however have a new years resolution). I figured I'd share the highlights of my 2009, try not to get too jealous.

In January I got to see my last snow on the ground up in Boston visiting/saying so long to friends. Shortly after that I got to witness history as I traveled to downtown DC starting at 4:30 am inauguration day to see the first ever African American sworn in as President of the United States.

February was more about world travel as I started the month by visiting a friend in Paris, creating some of my favorite sketches, and see a truly breathtaking city. I also got to spend a day in Paris with my Aunt and Uncle which was a truly amazing day. Two weeks later I finished packing my two suitcases, and boarded a plane to Miami for staging for the Peace Corps, on February 24th I arrived in my new home country of St. Lucia.

In March I moved in with my home stay family and tried to start learning what Lucian culture was like. I planted a coconut tree, I learned how pineapples and bananas grow. I began to visit beaches, got an account at the national Library, opened a Lucian Bank account, learned how to ride the bus to and from training by myself, got used to saying good night instead of good evening, and learned the peace corps training sucks, and met a troubled boy that I have been working with ever since march and seeing his progress has been a saving grace for me.

In April I finished training and was sworn in as an official Peace Corps Volunteer and moved in to my own place. April's where the dates start to get fuzzy.

I've harvested honey in a full bee keepers suit, harvested cucumbers for export to the UK, coached little kids basketball, learned to crack a coconut open on a rock, helped a lady rescue her lost baby lamb, seen kids learn to read in front of my very eyes. Sadly seen too many young lives end too soon, but watched how a community come together to help the healing. I've gotten off the bus to shouts of my name by small children, some of whom have taught me how to make cocoa tea and lucian dumplings. I've been giving notes from children telling me they love me. I've young men learn how to play basketball and start at the basics instead of dunking. I've been to at least 14 different beaches to bathe and 3 others for fish frys.

I've experienced multiple days of Carnival. I've been sailing. I've hiked through the rain forest, I've watched my communities football team win the nation tounament. I've witnessed the first ever graduation ceremony from the secondary school I work with. I've thrown a Halloween party complete with costumes in which the Lucians were exactly sure what to come as. I've played basketball with grown men and earned their respect. I've been asked to play on a women's basketball team. I've had the biggest Thanksgiving of my life with 3 turkeys and over 30 people. I've attempted to make pretzels from scratch, made pizza, tortillias, cake, and brownies from scratch, no mix. I made gingerbread houses with friends from scratch.

I learned how to pole vault, then learned how to coach pole vault, then watched 3 of the girls I was coaching set a national womens record, which already in 2010 has been broken again. I have seen young female athletes gain confidence and a belief in themself since starting to play a sport. I have met a 3x Olympian in pole vault.

I have seen pretty much an entire pig hanging after being slaughtered right next to where I catch my bus for everyones christmas meals. I have had friends stop by my house on christmas day while doing a door to door as part of the tradition for the holiday. I have been woken up at 8:30 christmas morning by a phone call from a friend wondering why I wasn't already at her house.

With 5 days left in the year I walked for four days around the island to really get a feel for what this great country has to offer. So while my new years resolution is to explore more of st lucia, I have had one amazing 2009 and while there have been strugles and difficulties if 2010 can be as good of a year for me I will be really happy. Happy New Year one, I hope everyone has had a good 2009, and will have a great 2010!

frustration, nerves, determination, and Greatness!

2009-12-14T22:31:00.003-04:00

This weekend I had the privilege to be part of what can be the magic of peace corps. We all suffer from frustration, things moving way slower than we could have ever dreamed possible, and the constant feeling as if we aren't doing enough, or at the end of the day (or our service) we won't have made any lasting impact. We are worried our programs will disappear as we move back home, that the people we work with will regress to their old ways, and as time ticks quickly away, we fear that 2 years really isn't enough time, we need more to get the real buy in and real sustainability. This weekend I however I was given the great gift of hope by a fellow volunteer whom I have started working with to give young Lucians the gift of learning to Pole Vault.

In St. Lucia we have pole vault pits, poles, mats, but until a year and a half again there was no program. A peace corps volunteer volunteer at that time started with 2 athletes which became four that he trained. Two of the males he trained won gold and silver at the Caribbean Track and Field for under 19 years olds event, Carifta. One of his female athletes set a national record for pole vault. All within a year of the program he had achieved this success, and he decided to make it spread to more kids. About two months ago he started working with the secondary school I work with training interested athletes how to pole vault for an hour a week at the school. For the past 5 weeks I have been joining him at Saturday sessions learning to vault and coach pole vault along with his beginning athletes of which there are about 7 kids, 3 of whom attend my secondary school. This Sunday we took a portable runway and the pits for pole vault to the streets outside of the main market in the capital of Castries and had all of our athletes that come to the saturday sessions, and a 3x Olympian that pole vaulted for St. Lucia have some fun. The day before the athletes trained with Dominic who was a 3x Olympian for St. Lucian for about 5 1/2 hours, and while the long training session tired out their coaches, the athletes came in ready to accomplish big things.

My 3 students all cleared their first heights, the two girls cleared their first two heights, with a lot of determination and grit. It was their first ever pole vault competition and they had only been training for about 6 weeks. From my school their was only one male athlete and he was the only one of the beginning male athletes to clear the first height of 2.5 meters. I will have to say after seeing them struggle and work hard and times they wanted to quit or thought they couldn't do it, it was a huge success to me, and I am ridiculously proud of them.

We also had the opportunity to set some national records on this great day in which 3 of our females tied for the new national record in women's pole vault. We also had a local Lucian record set on the male side. The biggest success though was the support of local coaches, and how into it fans were. With each jump the rather large crowd waited to see if the bar would be cleared, and if it was they would erupt in cheers. It seems as if the momentum is pulling us quickly forward, and there is a new hope that pole vault will bring forth new opportunities for our young athletes. There was even mutterings of future college scholarships abroad, especially for the women. I can only hope that things continue to be so positive, and be glad that I have the opportunity to be part of something like this.

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T20:37:00.001-04:00

With Thanksgiving being the first big family Holiday for me in the Peace Corps, I definitely thought I was going to be crazy homesick. Thanksgiving just doesn't seem like it should happen without me setting the dinning room table, or at least directing the setting since I am the only one that knows how to do it in a house full of grown ups (Note to self when you make a child set the table for occasions , learn how they do it before they become a grown up so can make it look just as pretty when they aren't around). Baking should be a frantic 3 day event, and nobody should be able to eat until we are sitting down for the big meal, which is inevitably starting at least an hour late.

Needless to say I was concerned to see how it would all unveil while living in an island that does not celebrate our thanksgiving, and on theirs they do nothing. First of all I am lucky cause its a small island and there are about 20 other peace corps volunteers and staff, so I got my biggest thanksgiving yet. While the stuffing wasn't my mom's and there were no sweet potatoes or at least they were gone by the time it was my turn, I still got football, the american kind, way too much food, and friends. After eating almost eating 3 turkeys, at least 4 pies, the biggest chocolate cake I've scene, and everything in between, the fun wasn't over, it was time to lime, Lucian slang for hanging out. Some of us had food babies, others were in food comas, and I think the baby at least was not overly stuffed, but may have been the only one.

Most importantly I learned that Thanksgiving can be wonderful even if you don't have the right food as long as you are surround by family or friends. It may have been hot and we were Lucians, Americans, and a Bolivian, in one apartment, but we are all one Peace Corps family filled with love and support for each other, and that is really what Thanksgiving is all about.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Miss and Love you guys, and hope everyone got to spend their thanksgiving with important people in their lives!

Well thats was different, but we have Burger King!

2009-11-16T10:01:00.003-04:00

In my last post I talked a lot about all the things that are different for me here living in St. Lucia, but I think sometimes, especially for the people that have never been here, it is easy to think that everything is ants and roosters.

First of all a look at the most notable signs of Globalization and more specifically Americanization.

In St. Lucia there are at least 2 dominoes pizza places, 3 KFC's that I know of, and I think 2 Burger Kings, and a Subway or two on the island for just about 160,000 people. We also have 3 Rituals, a Starbucks knock off, and a mini mall complete with an escalator, the only one I've seen on island! I have eaten sushi, and even befriended the chef, who studied in the states and is trying to compete on one of the chef shows to get his big break. I'm guessing right now you are thinking, it doesn't really sound like I'm roughing it that much and how you want to sign up for the peace corps down here, so you can have year round summer, beautiful beaches, and not have to give up pizza, sushi, or "Starbucks". While there is all of this on the island, it is expensive, and only up north, which is not where I live. To get to the closest of fast food places its about a 45 min bus ride, that is 7 EC round trip. If I want a whopper value meal its 20 EC, and sushi is maybe a once every 6 months treat. Most of the nice restaurants up north are really for the tourists and just like Peace Corps Volunteers, locals rarely go there to dine. If you compare this version of st lucia, with the one I described in the last post it seems like two different worlds.

The schools also function in a bizarre two world sort of way. The secondary school I currently am working with has a computer lab with about 20 computers, maybe more all with internet access, but the teachers do not have access to a computer in their rooms to type up grades, the principal and the counselor don't have internet in their offices, the Vice Principals office is so hot that she can't work in their, its even too hot for me to be in for more than 10 minutes. On a side note, none of the schools have AC except in the computer rooms. In the sports world we have a high jump mat, discuses, javalins, shot puts, all kinds of sports balls, recently we received pole vault poles, agility ladders and hurdles, but no gynasium, basketball court, playingfield, track or really anywhere on compound to set up sporting activities beside a hill that is constantly muddy, and the "parking lot" which is really just an open area covered in tiny stones.

Sometimes especially at a first glance, it seems as if there is so much and that things are very similar to the states, but after closer examination there is a lot that is lacking, and a lot of innovation that is needed to make things work. A lucian friend of mine put it this way we're a poor nation, that thinks its rich. I think that really sums up the socioeconomic status of st. lucia.

In other news, I am learning to pole vault from another Peace Corps, so I can possibly be a pole vault coach. I also got to go to a recording studio to hear a friend record a radio commercial she sings on, and I started painting finally. Life continues to be ridiculous and interesting, and I frequently have to laugh at some of my more comical situations. The kids keep me going ,and my friends remind me that I'm not superwoman and I can't do every thing. I'm not sure I've accepted that one though.

The pictures are of Jounen Kweyol, which highlights lucian culture, the fish is stuffed with fish stuffing, I'm eating a crab boulin, the event in the village of Soufriere, and one of my paintings.

Wait you don't think thats normal?

2009-10-19T22:14:00.003-04:00

From talking to some friends recently I realized that I have come to accept and find normal certain aspects of my life, that 9 months ago I definitely wouldn't have. Some of these I may have mentioned or you may have already heard, but I hope it gives you some insight into my life. I also hope you don't think I am really gross.

There are a stream of ants crawling on my wall, maybe I pull out the bug spray to get rid of them, but since its the rainy season now, its more likely that I do absolutely nothing. Ants in my sugar, bread, water, honey, or whatever other food they got in to, no problem ants don't taste like anything, and if you ask a Lucian they are good for your brain. I eat my ants with every meal. Finding a cockroach belly up is a happy moment cause it means that are dead or close to it, no need to get the shoe.

I just swept my floor, thats barely any exercise, so why is it that I am dripping, no pouring sweat from my entire body. My fan clearly isn't doing a good enough job at keeping me cool, its ok though because my fan in my new lover, I love it even when it lets me down. I defintely choose to ignore the Lucian warning that sleeping with a fan on you during the night will make you sick, its all lies I tell you.

After my nice sweeping workout, I go to take a nice shower, what no water today, its okay I have my perfect one bath bottle set aside already. All it takes to get so fresh and so clean now a days is 1.5 liters, maybe less.

Now that I'm clean its time to greet the world, I open my door and find roosters and chickens running around, sometimes they are even so bold to come on my porch, o there goes a goat/lamb walking up the road. Shortly after I am greated by children calling miss miss, sometimes followed by the question when are we going to play the game, this is how the refer to monopoly. If I'm sitting on my step, everyone that passes says good morning or good afternoon, maybe even asks how the heat or the rain is treating me. If they are a friend they take time to chat, remember nobody is ever in a hury anywhere so they always have time to say hello.

As I return home there is a pile of stuff on my balcony quickly the neighborhood children inform me that some person came by and left fruit for me because I wasn't there. The kids always know what happens at my house because as I've been told and witnessed they come and play on my porch waiting for me to come home and talk to them. No these are not my children, I don't even work with these children at the school, they just live near me and stop by all the time. Sometimes we make things together, which is nice because pretty much anything we make together they think is really nice, it may turn out absolutely horribly but they still say Miss its really nice.

This doesn't even begin to cover the complete randomness my life can be sometimes, this is literally just the normal weekly happenings.

St. Lucia won this round, but i got in a few good hits...

2009-09-26T13:00:00.003-04:00

School has been in session for 3 weeks now, and last week we started practice after school for football, basketball and netball. This was a huge success in my mind, the kids seem excited to play, the teachers/coach seem into it and it overall seems like a good time. Of course this success came with some obstacles. Two weeks ago as we went to print the permission slips for the kids to stay after school the printer was out of black ink and the copy machine was out of ink all together, the computer that had the document on it does not have internet so you can't email the document elsewhere to print, and you can't put a thumb drive in the computer cause it has some kind of virus. The following monday, a day I try to work from home so that I can get planning type work done, I went up to the school to make sure that the consent forms had been printed and given out to the students, neither had been done. So I spent the next two hours getting the forms printed due to ink and other issues. Thankfully the kids got them before they went home for the day.

As I get home that evening tired and hungry because I was running around all afternoon and hadn't eaten lunch, I go to put my vegetable lentil soup on the stove using a packet of vegetable soup flavoring sent from the states. I am really hoping the lentils won't take long to cook, after about 15 mins I go to check on the soup and the flame gets all bajigity on me and then goes out. My gas ran out and no one with a vehicle is around at that moment, so no soup for me. Thankfully I had just bought bread and had a can of tuna for just in case situations so I had dinner still.

Tuesday the football team practices and it seems like its a good group, we just have to figure out transportation for the kids that normally take a special bus to get to school. I of course forget to ask my friends with vehicles to help me get gas, its a BBQ grill gas cylinder that you buy from the gas station so I kinda can't just walk to pick it up. That means pb and j for dinner.

Wednesday is my big day to start coaching, I'm the boys basketball team coach. A few of my boys come to check me at the school and tell me that they wouldn't be there that first day, so I ended up only have 3 guys come of, which is no big deal cause basketball isn't big here and anything is a start. After school ends we get a ride down to the court, and when we get there the one hoop that we have is bent upwards. Of course this is st lucia, so it doesn't mean that there won't be practice, we instead tip the hoop down and attempt to fix it. Its isn't completely fixable so the rim, but we try to play on it anyways. Now my main focus is trying to figure out how we can get the hoop fix or get a new rim. It becomes a goose chase of who is actually in charge of maintaining the courts, then finding out it they are actually going to do anything about it, which of course I won't be flat out told, and then if they won't find money to get a new rim. It happens to be convient timing however because I'm already working on a grant proposal for the sports program, so that can just get added to the list, if whoever is in charge of the courts isn't going to fix it or doesn't have the money and are ok with it being taken care of my a third party.

These are the bizarre things that keep life interesting in the Peace Corps, here they have kind of become normal, and don't really faze me anymore. It amazes me at how patient and willing to wait for things I've become. The other day I waited for over an hour just sitting on the side of the road waiting for friends to pick me up, when I looked at my watch and saw how long I had been waiting I couldn't believe that it had been that long. I'm just on island time now I guess.

My kids still come check me regularly, next week we are supposed to make cookies which should be a lot of fun. Life is good in general, its still hot and my fan is my best friend, but its better than being cold. Miss everyone at home.

Its hard to believe 6 months have passed!

2009-08-31T12:38:00.003-04:00

This morning as I woke up sore for hiking through the bush for 6 hours the previous day, I was nervous about how the day would unfold before me. I had a staff meeting at the secondary school to discuss the coming school that starts tomorrow. The previous week I had a meeting at the primary school start 3 hours late, and a meeting at the secondary school start 1 1/2 hours late. So as I roll my sore body from bed my head is filled with thoughts of will this just be another meeting I'm given stones to hold.

After I pay my rent I decide to take the bus instead of walking the 15 mins to school cause its hot, and I'm in jeans cause school is casual till the kids get there. I just check weather.com and it tells me the real feel for st lucia is 102, and I wore jeans, I guess I've gotten used to the heat. I get to the school about 5 mins before the meeting starts, and to my suprise there are other teachers there already. Then an even bigger suprise for me, we started on time...ok it was 5 mins late, but here thats on time, if not early. Granted a lot teachers weren't there, and a lot never showed up, but who cares the meeting started on time and only lasted an hour. The best part though was when the principal said there will be 3 classrooms just for english and 3 just for math, this is a hige victory because it allows the english and math teachers to create a much more student friendly environment, now the trick is to get them to do it. The other challenge is that the students show up tomorrow, and the rooms will definitely not be ready for optimal learning by then, but it seems that is normal here.

Next it is over to the primary school to make sure the schedule I've created works for the principal. She isn't there, so it means using my phone credit, something that isn't really a big deal, but everyone here including myself sees as a big deal. People will actual call someone and hang up after the second ring so that they call you back, and phone calls tend to be brief and to the point with very little chit chat to save money/credit. Schedule works for her, so another success of my day, its only lunchtime so far so good. Now I'm trying to figure out how to best decorate math and english classrooms for students that are 12-18 years old but do k-4th grade level work. If you have any suggestions feel free to let me know.

I'm excited to get back into the school routine, see what happens with the welfare lunch program, my afterschool sports program, and the literacy and numeracy stuff I'm putting together. It'll also be nice to see my kids again.

I've finally gone out hiking, I did two smaller trails, and hopefully will be able to conquer some of the tougher ones before too long. I also had the chance to go sailing for the first time, just kinda got lucky with that, it was a lot of fun. I made pizza with my kids, in which they tried to tell me I was doing it wrong, of course 9 year old Lucians know how to make pizza better than me. The one was very knowledgeable about it he even knew you had to put flour under the pizza so it didn't stick. I'm not really sure where he picked that up. I also went with some friends on an around the island, ate lunch at a great view point, relaxed in baths, and played beach football, a nice way to spend a sunday. Most importantly I discovered a new beach that is one of a short list of favorites, by dicovered I of course mean it was the first time I went there, its not a secret beach or anything.

Well now its off to help a friend move. Ciao

Summer Time, and the living is busy!

2009-08-06T19:12:00.003-04:00

So here I am thinking, sweet summer time, I mostly work with schools so things should slow down a bit, boy was I wrong. It seems I am every bit as busy with work, but because its summer, my social life has exploded. I really just want to lock myself in my home, and turn my phone off sometimes, of course the invites are always for good things so how can I say no?

My days for the past couple of weeks I have been spending teaching life skills, and basketball at summer camp. While the camp may not have been put together as well as I would have liked to have seen, its has been fun and I've gotten to know a bunch of kids and grown ups from my community that I may have not met otherwise. I rotate groups for life skills, but I have mostly the same kids everyday for basketball, which is a lot of fun. We start with a few skill drills, then we play my favorite game knockout, which they love too, even though sometimes it takes a long time for the kids to put the ball in the basket. After that we play a little 4 on 4, which makes me wonder if that's what it looked like when I first started playing. The kids forget to dribble and just run with the ball a lot, and double dribble all the time, but its a lot of fun. I try no to play with them because it just wouldn't be fair to what ever team I'm not on, plus if I play I miss a lot of the little things that the kids make mistakes with and may need help on. There is one girl that consistently shows up and plays with all the boys the other girls tend not to stick around the whole time. It was a proud moment for the female athlete in me when she got picked second amongst a group of 10-12 year old boys.

I also have found a running buddy, and we run in the evenings 4 times a week, which not only lets my exercise, but lets me explore new parts of the Valley, its a rather sprawling area. The other day I found a hill with a great view, granted its a massive hike to the top, especially when trying to run it, but once on top you can see all of the valley and the ocean. Its the only place in the valley I've found so far that you can see the ocean from. I'm still playing basketball with the guys, and enjoying it, unfortunately its a little less regular that I would like but better than nothing. The other day I ended up playing barefoot, which made me feel like a true Lucian because the young people do everything barefoot. I also played tennis this morning, which was well interesting considering I don't really know how to play tennis, none the less I had a great time, not sure I can say the same for my much more experienced friend I was playing with.

After tennis, it was off to a grant writing seminar all day with the counterpart I am working on my after school sports program with. It was a really great seminar, that really made both of us think about our project a lot more, and also gave us a lot of help to get our proposals right! The only down side is it means a lot more work, thankfully I'm really excited about this project so I don't mind it at all.

I've also gotten to do some fun an cool things in the past few weeks. Last weekend I baked a cake from scratch with my kids, it didn't come out right though, the cake tasted more like bread...I blame the recipe we used, but maybe baking cakes just isn't my thing. The kids really liked the homemade chocolate icing, even though it was grainy because of the freshly grated cocoa. They of course wanted to lick every bowl and every plate that had icing on it. On Sunday, I woke up at 5:45 so I could get to a friends green house before it got to hot to spend my morning harvesting cucumbers. Its this really peacefully relaxing process because its just you walking through these rows of cucumbers cutting ripe ones and putting them is a massive nylon bag. In about 2 and a half hours with collected about 700 lbs of cucumbers, which then get shipped off(in a plane) to the UK so they have fresh cukes in the grocery store. I even got to go to the depot where you drop the boxes off for shipment. I hope to be able to continue with this process regularly, but I never know what will come up. After being a farmer it was time to change into my nice clothes and head over to a friend of mine parent's wedding reception. Definitely glad I brought more than one nice non-work outfit. His parents had been together for 25 years and were finally deciding to get married, it seems that that a lot of people get married after they have kids here, but when he first told me I will have to admit I was a bit confused.

The weekend before that we had a going away camping trip for EC 77, the group of volunteers that came in two years ago, and will be leaving in about a month. It was a lot of fun, we camped on the beach, and lucky for me the morning of my birthday I got to wake up on the beach with the sun rising over a little forest while I went for a swim in the ocean. I will have to say that may be my favorite way to wake up, and definitely not a bad way to begin my birthday. After cooling out and having pancakes cooked over the fire, I began the trek back to my home with 2 friends that spent the day with me relaxing and eating the best meal of my life, handmade ravioli with spinach, mushrooms, and goat cheese, with a roasted red pepper cream sauce. The fabulous birthday dinner was made possible by my wonderful parents/Aunt and Uncle that donated to the Aria Birthday fund. By the way you will also be buying me my first ever real paints so I can make that transition from pastel to paint, very excited about that!!! Not only did I have great food, and friends, but by far the best part of my b-day was not only that my kids remembered that it was my birthday, but the youngest one picked me flowers from her yard and got her mom to help wrap them up. The second I got home they all came to wish me a happy birthday, they had been waiting since the morning when they sadly came to check me and discovered I wasn't home. Of course I also spent time reading and just relaxing with my 4 regular kids, and even made my friends join in on the reading to them when I had to work on cooking.

Before all of that was Carnival, which is really a month or so long, but the main event in Castries is in mid July. Its pretty crazy thousands of people dress up in these elaborate costumes, some rather scantily clad, and dance/walk through the streets for hours. I will have to say the highlight came from seeing three peace corps staff members jumping up in a band, which means they were in a specific group that all had the same costumes and they were dancing and partying in the streets. All the villages have smaller versions of the main thing in Castries, and there are lots of other events associated with it. They have different local music contests and the such, one of which not only did I go to, but I also knew some of the musicians playing. The panorama is what I went to, its a collection of different steel pan/drum groups from around the island that play pieces that they personally arrange.

I think those are pretty much the highlights of my life over here the past month or so. I just finished reading a great book about life in the islands called Small Place by Jamaica Kincaid, it really gives some great insights to the two sides of island life and I highly recommend it to get a better feel for the unknown part of island life.

The pictures from above are the flowers my kids gave me, my birthday dinner, the fun with cake, and harvesting cucumbers. Please note that the bottles in the last picture are of malt, which is a really thick nonalcoholic drink that fills you up and quenches your thirst. At first I hated it, but now when I'm hot, thirsty, and working hard its just what I want!

Basketball, Exploring, and proposal turned in!

2009-07-03T15:44:00.003-04:00

Right now I am sitting in my living room with the door open as two boys play on my porch with my basketball. They are playing a mix of basketball and football (soccer) and the only thing that keeps this from being a typical afternoon is that my girls are missing and I am not reading to anyone. The basketball is not allowed to leave my porch because the ground outside will most definitely result in one flat ball, and I use the ball to go down to the court and play with the big kids.

I have recently been fully accepted into the men's basketball circle, which means that I now get phone calls when they are going to play. Its my favorite way to spend my night, about 8-10 guys and me go down to the court around 7pm turn on the lights and play till 9 or 10 at night. Its a nice work out, a good way to make friends, and it helps me work on my game, you know just in case I decide to use my college eligibility when I go to grad school :). I also think I officially have the respect of the guys after I took a hit from a 6 foot solid guy, and asked him if he was okay...his reply was "I should be asking you that.

The other weekend I went with two friends to try to see an archeological dig site, unfortunately they were covering it up with dirt just as we arrived, o well. The day still ended up being a really cool day, we walked past some horses grazing in a field, and of course decided to pet the young ones. We also went exploring around some more isolated beaches, and just had a really relaxing day.

On Friday I turned in the proposal for the after-school sports program I have been working on to the Principal of the school. This is the first successful step of hopefully many to getting this program off the ground. Additionally the teacher I am working with on this project decided to not go to study next year so we can work together on the sports program, which is a huge success for me. Without him it would be nearly impossible for me to create a sustainable and successful program.

This weekend for fourth of July we played American football and had a BBQ at our country director's house, with a group of volunteers from 40 years ago that were having their reunion in St. Lucia. It was really interesting to here their stories about how things have changed and how a lot of things are pretty similar in St. lucia, and with their Peace Corps experience here. The best part I think was having a hamburger, it was massive and phenomenal. Plus for those of you who don't know I stopped cooking meat for myself, which makes having any kind of meat a special treat for me.

Yesterday the 6th Graders at my primary school had a graduation dinner, and I couldn't believe how big of a deal it was. Everyone was really dressed up, the girls looked like they were ready to go to prom, hair done, nails done, fancy dresses, it was impressive and surprising. I never really thought of primary school graduation as a big deal cause almost everyone at least graduates from high school, and most of my friends at least graduated from college too, but until 3 years ago a lot of kids didn't even go to Secondary school here. When I thought about it that way it made a lot of sense, most of those kids will never graduate from anything besides secondary school, and some of them unfortunately may not even make it to that point, so last night was a really big deal here.

Its the beginning of summer vacation here now, so I'm hoping that things will slow down a bit, but if the past few weeks are a suggestion of what my summer "vacation" will be like, my summer will be more exhausting that my school year. So far I just am helping out with a few summer camps, collecting research on literacy and numeracy teaching techniques, working to get computers in the community center, and of course hanging out with "my" kids. Here's to hoping that the summer months give me a chance to do some hiking and laying by a beach!!

Brownies, French Monopoly, and Art

2009-06-17T23:37:00.003-04:00

A lot of people have been asking me about what my typical day is like, and while I would say that everyday is different and special in its own way, I'll give it a try.

I get up at around 7 during the week, an hour that seems ungodly early, but to Lucians means I'm sleeping really late. If only they knew that sometimes on weekends I sleep till 10, a completely normal hour in my mind, but if my neighbors knew that they would think I was deathly ill. Oh yes, they will party till 4 am and still wake up before 7, I swear they don't sleep which could explain why everything happens at a slow pace here. But back to my typical day, after breakfast, ironing my clothes, and making lunch I usually am running late because I couldn't get my butt out of bed, so I hurry off to work. Me being in a rush also makes my neighbors think I'm strange, not to mention that I walk the 10mins to work instead of taking a bus, another thing that is unthinkable. It sort of makes sense though because you can get sweaty and wrinkled walking to work, of course that happens to me even if I take the bus so I might as well save the money.

I then spend the next 7 hours trying to meet with teachers and the school counselor to plan out projects and figure out what other things the school needs help with, or I guess should say which things are the top priorities. Number one on the list reading, the kids can't read, the teachers don't really focus that much on teaching them to read, but everyone tells me its the schools biggest problem. So obviously I'm starting to work with the special ed teacher to create a literacy and numeracy program, step one for that get the principal on board. The principal is big into sports which is great for me, and we just gave out a survey to the kids about their interest in different sports, and the responses are really positive, now lets see if they actually want to participate next year. Kids without food is also a big problem and we came up with a hypothetical budget and wow does feeding kids get expensive fast, so now its time to figure out funding. If it happens to be a day I'm at the primary school I work one-on-one with two students that struggle reading words like had, what, where, ect...or helping the fifth grade boys with math. My new movement at the primary school is to change the teaching styles around so 3/4 of the the students by the time they are finishing 6th grade will no longer be below grade level for reading and math. We had a staff meeting today where we talked about it. The principal was verbally on board as were a handful of teachers, but lets see if they really embrace it and work with me to make this change.

After school comes the fun part of my day, not so ironed clothes are quickly replaced for my standard basketball shorts and whatever t-shirt is nearby, seriousness gone, and its time for small children to start showing up at my house, they are so much more fun then adults, kids rule and adults drool. At some point I will leave my state of denial and accept that I am now an adult, but I'm not there yet, and I think my behavior sometimes would suggest I am still 10. I have four standard kids that come over everday, if I have a study session then there are 10 6th graders at my house instead. My the normal four live within shouting distance of me and know the second I get home from pretty much anywhere. We usually just read together, but on monday I bought the cheap version of monopoly, which here is the french version from many years ago, its in broken english, uses the franc, and feels like it will all be torn apart within a few weeks, but real board games are expensive and the kids don't seem to be bothered by it. Yesterday we, me and the 4 regulars, built a small table out of the boxes my milk comes in and a cereal box so we had a place to rest my french monopoly. We started playing after the "table" was complete which was a bit chaotic because the kids had no idea how to play, after a bit of a headache and one of the 2nd graders not knowing what happened to their money pile we called it quits with plans to play again the next day. Of course this prompted the two 7 year olds and the 5 year old to start running around in circles in my living room, I have a big open space that's perfect for such activities. Of course then I decided it made the most sense for me to catch them and carry them out of my house and pretend to throw them out, a game that quickly turned into me being a monster. I think I added monster sound effects to encourage that progression. The game ended with one of the children being a monster and eating the rest of us and us all becoming monsters. If that wasn't enough for one day the playing moved to the porch where a game of mr freeze or something like that started. Its really just freeze tag with a different name. Playtime finally ended when it got dark and I kicked the kids out. Today we continued monopoly which everyone seems to be getting, the addition and subtraction and banking aspect is hard for them, but that could be partially due to the large numbers needed to make french francs worth something. Tomorrow we are continuing the game where we left off, and may make some pretend money that the kids can earn by doing things like reading or writing stories and then can use to buy lollipops or other things that I make or are at my house, who knows maybe I'll sell them my drawings for their cardboard money. To top things off today I made some baller brownies from scratch with my Lucian cocao stick.

After the kids leave me alone, if I don't have a meeting in the evening, I figure out something for dinner usually a concoction of whatever I made a ton of early in the week and a random collection of vegetables and fruit. Then I talk to friends, read, and draw. Lately I have been doing a lot of drawing, mostly with pastel, but I also did one in charcoal. I'll put some pictures of the ones I like more up. So that's pretty much a day in my life, give or take some activities. Also I'll put up a picture of me after some of my kids put flour all over my face.

Leatherback turtles and more!

2009-06-08T10:02:00.003-04:00

Its been awhile since I've last posted, so there is a lot to inform people of. Some ridiculously fun, some frustrating, and other really rewarding.

As some of you know there has been a teachers and civil servant strike in St. Lucia, it ended friday but lasted two weeks. There is about a month left of school with only about a week and a half till exams start. There were really mixed feelings about the strike from St. Lucians including the teachers because the kids have national exams and they are missing critical preparation time, but there was also the principal of workers right and getting what people felt they deserved. For me personally it was frustrating because I was just getting started on some projects at the school and this slowed things considerably for me. Hopefully in the next month I can get to a point with my counterparts that things will be in place enough for me to do a few things over the summer and have things running by the beginning of next school year.

The plus side of the strike is that I had more time to catch up on things that were being neglected and to spend with neighborhood kids. I made cookies with about 7 kids in my community ranging in ages from 5-12, and it was really a great experience. We all just got to be silly, and I think it was a new experience for most of the kids. Of course they asked if we could do it every week, and other kids heard about it and wanted to be invited next time.

A few days later I went for a walk in the community with five 12 year old girls, it was sort of a safe time for the girls to talk about anything both with themselves and with me, which makes me so happy that they are comfortable enough to open up to me. I'm think of starting a girls group to talk about important issues and give them something fun to do.

The kids really make my life so much more enjoyable, there are a lot of frustrations of working with grown ups here, and sometimes I come home completely defeated and drained, but then one of my kids comes over to say hi and say the sweetest thing and life is good. For example when I was reading to a five year old, she turns to me and asks if I'm going to come back after I go back to where I came from. After I explain that I won't come back to live here again she says Miss when you leave all the children in the Valley, no all of St. Lucia will be very sad and miss you. Another child told me that my pastel belonged in a museum, and a child I work on learning to read asked me if I could work with him everyday. I already feel like I'm making a big difference for the kids that I get to work with, its incredible to think about.

I also have now been to all 3 fish frys on the island, really they are just big street parties by the beach, if you go earlier in the night they are more food focused, but by the later hours when all the locals go its just a party. There are a lot of fun, some more so than others because they are more dancing orientated, the music and dancing is different from home, but I think I'm learning.

This past weekend I decided to go turtle watching with some of the Japanese volunteers and other peace corps. Of course I decided to go about 45 mins before we needed to meet the group, it just wouldn't be any fun if there was planning involved. The beach that we went to is really isolated and completely off road, I think we even drove through a creek. First a little background on the leatherback turtles, they average about 4 feet long and 3 feet wide with flippers span about 6 feet, they have been around since the Cretaceous period about 110 million years ago, are the fastest reptiles (in water not on land), and can dive to greater depths than other reptiles. Sadly they are a critically endangered species, which means the are close to extinction in the wild, part of this is due to predators that eat baby turtles, and part of it is that people steal the eggs for different reasons throughout the world, and that they eat trash in the ocean because they think its food, this causes them to choke and die. The leather back turtles come onto the beach in the middle of the night to lay their eggs, so you just have to walk to beach back and forth until you see one. Fortunate for us a turtle came on the beach before 11 so we didn't have to wait all night. The turtle then uses its back flippers to dig a hole about 2-3 feet deep to lay the eggs in. The eggs are about the size of billiard balls and she lays close to 100 of them. After the eggs are laid she tries to cover them and begins her slow journey back to the ocean. Its really an incredible thing to see, especially when you think about how long the animal has been around and that it may be something in 50 years nobody will be able to see anymore.

The pictures are of the leatherback and honey harvesting.

Honey Harvesting and more!

2009-05-11T10:00:00.003-04:00

The pictures are of my place, Briana you can stop harassing me now, and of the brooms I made to sweep my apartment.

Yesterday I harvested honey, it was pretty sweet. Its kind of scary at first cause all these bees are flying all around you, and your instincts tell you to swat at them, which would be a bad idea I think. I had the full protective gear on and even got to extract the honey from the combs. Of course that is followed by getting delicious fresh honey straight from the hive, sooo good. Later in the afternoon, I helped move parts for a greenhouse to a friends farm. Not your typical mothers day, but a good day regardless.

Last weekend I went to the fish fiesta, basically a big party on the beach, sadly the music choice does not consist of Britney Spears which is hard to handle, a party without britney just isn't a party. I went with a bunch of peace corps friends, and then the next morning we went on a 5k walk, always a good idea to walk at 8 am after being out till after 2. Needless to say we came in basically last place, but at the end there was this beautiful waterfall. It had rained a lot so the it was overflowing with water, so we couldn't get really close to it.

Work is going well, basically at the secondary school I'm going to do life skills and character building groups, and also organize extra curricular activities...along with anything else that comes up. Since I'm around the girls seem to be getting more involved with sports, before there were no female teachers that were involved in any sports. Everyone seems to slowly open up to me, and I am even beginning to learn how to play the keyboard through my help/interaction with the music class.

I'm still playing football and basketball after school, but that might slow down cause I am starting a study group for the exam the 6th graders have to take to get into secondary school, which is in a month. I'm off to pay bills, get groceries, and plan for a meeting, hope life is going well...miss everyone!